Today that is where I stand.
Much as I did 14 years ago on the rim of the Grand Canyon.
Looking down into unfathomable depths, unbridgeable gaps.
Then, I merely hiked to the bottom and back. A personal challenge, beautiful memory and party anecdote.
Today, it is different. My baby goes in for an EEG tomorrow.
Hopeful epilepsy isn’t uttered and I can quiet another nagging voice inside my head.
Hopeful, our reality won’t forever change.
I gave up years ago, the bliss of worrying for only oneself, the naïveté that my children would be unharmed.
I have lost babes.
I have held both of my sons, carrying them into operating rooms.
Tomorrow’s procedure is without pain or blood,
Yet it kills a little bit of my naïveté yet again.
My reality has become seeing love and beauty, in all moments.
Thankfulness at what we have, whatever it may be.
Focusing on that which is real, that is, the health and happiness of my family.
Let it be.