The previous post regarding letting go of relationships that no longer serve your life, led to some reader questions centered around the energy interactions of marriage/long term relationships.
When evaluating marriage and other long term relationships, it is important to look at the long term trajectory of the relationship and to be serious about changing dynamics that do not work before deciding to let go of the relationship altogether.
Pain is present in all relationships. We are all flawed, those closest to us know our flaws intimately. Often, they are hurt by our flaws, as we are hurt by theirs. Growth as a partner comes when we decide to respect our partner and ourselves even through the pain inflicted. Not by martyering oneself, but by choosing our reactions.
I grew up in a fiery household, conflict often resulted in tears and raised voices. I now choose to pause before reacting, take a moment before response and remember that I am speaking with someone who loves and respects me. It is amazing the results of that little change.
Relationships are transformative and offer continued opportunity for growth. The intimate nature of marriage and long term relationships allows us to focus on intentionally changing ways of being that no longer serve us. There is often a good reason criticism from our partner hurts, a reason it is our achilles heel. Often, they are the very things that bother us about ourselves.
As described in detail here (cultivating intuition), I believe we keep repeating lessons until we master them. I would like to keep making the changes needed to move onto the next lesson.