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Tag Archives: Be True To Yourself

“Be true to yourself.”

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A wise woman, who knows me well, told me, “Be true to yourself, share what you have learned”.

These words stopped my thought patterns and focused me on the big picture.  When am I true to myself?

When I am helping others, sharing what I have learned from great books and wise people.  

Given that a new season is upon us, the time of rebirth and change- this is my focus.  Be true to myself.  In all ways, at all times, in all things.

This woman lived life according to her own terms.  Abandoned by her husband at the start of the Great Depression, she was left to raise her daughter and  niece, alone.  She was strong, I don’t know if she began life that way or if she became that way through life’s lessons.

What I do know is she found solid work, supported her family, raised those girls and lived an elegant life centered around her loves.  Namely, the piano, family, an orderly self and home, red lipstick and beautiful hair (perfectly coiffed until the very end of her 90 years). She taught me discipline, appreciation for the arts, and how to play the piano.

She taught me another thing that stands out now, no excuses.  Life will throw at you what it will. All you control is your reaction to life.

I wish she had written, so I could learn from her thoughts on life instead of relying on the memories of how she conducted herself.  That is why today, I am writing.  There is no need for each of us to go through all of the lessons in life.  We can share what we have gathered and learn from one another.

What do you feel called to share today?

Mountaintop Couples Retreat- Part II (why are we together & where are we going)?

 

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Question #1. Why are we together?

What an opener.  How does one even answer that?

And yet for us, the answer came almost immediately.  Jarring in it’s truth, it is why we work as a couple.

We are together because we bring what the other needs to move farther into a deeper, more fulfilling life.  To evolve, if you will, from where we started in life.

I was raised with unconditional love.  For all our faults, my family gave me unconditional love from birth.  I’ve also had unconditional love spiritually, as I have had faith since early childhood.

My husband was raised with the mantra of “no excuses”.  It doesn’t matter what is thrown in your path or how hard things get, you are responsible for living the life you desire.

Combine the two and we can build a life that knows no limits.  We balance each other out and have the opportunity to raise children who are fully loved, loving, and self-responsible (responsible for own well-being).

Why are you together with your partner? I’d be interested in others’ answers.

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Question #2- What direction are you going as a couple?

As we worked through the questions, a thought kept reoccurring.  My husband and I have been able to stay together as a team through the past decade because we asked most of the important questions when we were first getting serious.  We had a long distance relationship.  You can only use small talk and recounts of your day for so long.  To fill hours on a phone or pages in a letter (email was just beginning when we met), you have to get real.  We discussed everything from our values, to how we wanted to raise kids, to what old age would look like.  We have been through so much in the last 15 years, but through it all we have been generally heading in the same direction.

The beauty of doing a retreat as a couple (as opposed to a group) is you can start from where you are.  For some, this is will be the first step in determining the direction and mission of your family.  For us, rather than finding our direction, our goals became clearer, refined.  We focused on refining how our team works and treats one another.  The planning for our future was less a battle of what direction to go and much more a discussion of when to enact certain changes we knew we both desired.

Our direction is clear, we want a life filled with love, exploration, helping others and the freedom on make our own life choices.  We began this fifteen years ago.  We are now well on our way, living in our desired location, raising our two beloved sons, and saving for the day when we no longer need to work full-time jobs.

To achieve this, we need to continue to simplify our lives.  Avoid added distractions, expenses, and negativity.

The beauty of acknowledging our direction is how simple it is once again to say no to things that do not aid us.  For the past year we have discussed getting a camping trailer, it aids our goal of exploring and spending quality, family time in nature.  However, it hurts our savings goals and our simplification goal.  We would have to find a storage place and maintain yet another big purchase.  After our retreat, we no longer need to discuss it, it doesn’t fit where we are right now.  There is beauty in knowing your decisions are rooted in your life direction and you as a couple do not need to keep rehashing the same ideas.

What is your direction as a couple?  Are you beginning your journey or well on your way?

 

Love- yourself first

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Happy Friday.  Winter has come to an end. Spring is upon us, and I am reminded of my Hawaiian adventure a few weeks ago.  Hope your weekend is filled with fun and a little adventure.

Continuing on with the ever critical topic of relationships, let’s discuss the most important relationship.  The one you have with yourself.

New relationships inpart a flood of new energy.  It feeds us and keeps us feeling alive.  For a while.  And then we return to ourselves and what we bring energetically into the relationship.  The old saying, you bring yourself into every relationship.  If you don’t have a good relationship, a loving relationship with yourself from the start- how can a relationship with anyone else fulfill you?

Start doing the things you love and believe in, surrounded by people you respect.  Fill yourself with love.  It is then the right partner or relationship appears.  For you have be the right partner for yourself before you can be that partner to someone you want.

Self love can be hard.  Especially when one is rooted in the past and guilt or negativity associated with our past.

My current mantra, “God, I accept your forgiveness and I accept  your love”.

What is yours?

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