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Tag Archives: Aldous Huxley

“Be true to yourself.”

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A wise woman, who knows me well, told me, “Be true to yourself, share what you have learned”.

These words stopped my thought patterns and focused me on the big picture.  When am I true to myself?

When I am helping others, sharing what I have learned from great books and wise people.  

Given that a new season is upon us, the time of rebirth and change- this is my focus.  Be true to myself.  In all ways, at all times, in all things.

This woman lived life according to her own terms.  Abandoned by her husband at the start of the Great Depression, she was left to raise her daughter and  niece, alone.  She was strong, I don’t know if she began life that way or if she became that way through life’s lessons.

What I do know is she found solid work, supported her family, raised those girls and lived an elegant life centered around her loves.  Namely, the piano, family, an orderly self and home, red lipstick and beautiful hair (perfectly coiffed until the very end of her 90 years). She taught me discipline, appreciation for the arts, and how to play the piano.

She taught me another thing that stands out now, no excuses.  Life will throw at you what it will. All you control is your reaction to life.

I wish she had written, so I could learn from her thoughts on life instead of relying on the memories of how she conducted herself.  That is why today, I am writing.  There is no need for each of us to go through all of the lessons in life.  We can share what we have gathered and learn from one another.

What do you feel called to share today?

Not letting go

 

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The previous post regarding letting go of relationships that no longer serve your life, led to some reader questions centered around the energy interactions of marriage/long term relationships.

When evaluating marriage and other long term relationships, it is important to look at the long term trajectory of the relationship and to be serious about changing dynamics that do not work before deciding to let go of the relationship altogether.

Pain is present in all relationships.  We are all flawed, those closest to us know our flaws intimately.  Often, they are hurt by our flaws, as we are hurt by theirs. Growth as a partner comes when we decide to respect our partner and ourselves even through the pain inflicted.  Not by martyering oneself, but by choosing our reactions.

I grew up in a fiery household, conflict often resulted in tears and raised voices.  I now choose to pause before reacting, take a moment before response and remember that I am speaking with someone who loves and respects me.  It is amazing the results of that little change.

Relationships are transformative and offer continued opportunity for growth.  The intimate nature of marriage and long term relationships allows us to focus on intentionally changing ways of being that no longer serve us.  There is often a good reason criticism from our partner hurts, a reason it is our achilles heel.  Often, they are the very things that bother us about ourselves.

As described in detail here (cultivating intuition), I believe we keep repeating lessons until we master them.  I would like to keep making the changes needed to move onto the next lesson.

“There is only one corner of the universe you can be certain of improving, and that is your own self.” -Aldous Huxley
Share what has helped you in changing relationship dynamics.
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